Q. How do we let guests know where we are registered or let them know that we would prefer cash gifts?
A. Traditionally, it is improper to include registry information or registry inserts in a wedding invitation. It implies that you expect a gift. It is also not in good taste to include "no gifts please", or "please make donations to...", or "cash gifts only". A good resource for guests are family and your wedding party. They will be able to verbally spread the word of your wishes. Some guests will still want to show their joy for your through gifts, whether on or off of your registry. A hand written note from you or your spouse is customary to send as appreciation of their gift.
Many couples are creating personal wedding websites with all their details included on one page. Many of these websites include a page dedicated to registry information.
What about gifts for showers and engagement parties?
Gifts are typically not a part of engagement parties. An engagement party is a way to mingle with friends and new family members in celebration of your engagement, and are held early in the engagement. No worries...wedding soiree's will come! Engagement parties are a great way for your wedding party to spread the verbal word of your registry.
Many wedding shower hosts are sending invitations with registry information. Guests actually prefer the ease of knowing where they can find gifts for the couple. My advice is to send it on a separate piece of paper and not on the invitation.
Showing posts with label Q and A. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Q and A. Show all posts
March 15, 2010
March 11, 2010
Q & A. Your Plus One.
Q: We are having an "adult" wedding on a budget. How do we let our guests know who is invited to our wedding?
A: Including an inner envelope is the best way to let guests know who is invited to your wedding. (more on addressing inner and outer envelopes) Guests lists are the hardest part of planning a wedding. Not inviting children is perfectly acceptable, but can be a touchy subject. Use the outer envelope to address the invitation and the inner envelope to let the household know who is invited. For example, your outer envelope would be addressed like this:
Greg and Sally have two young children, Jake and Melissa. If you are not including children in your guest list, then your internal would be like this:
The omission of the names of their children is the indication that only Greg and Sally are invited.
The same goes for your "and Guest". Allowing unmarried guests to bring a significant other is great, especially if they don't know anyone else at the wedding. Although, if you have a lot of unmarried friends, allowing all of them to bring a guest can make your budget skyrocket. If you are concerned about your budget, and want to make sure everyone is included on your big day, it is acceptable to not include "and Guest" on your invitations. This way, you don't have to feel like you are excluding guests, who you are close to and want as a part of your day, just so someone can bring a complete stranger to your wedding. If you have unmarried guests, you can address their outer envelope like this:
Use your family and wedding party to help spread the word when asked about children or the +1's. If guests respond that they are bringing their children or a date, then it is best to give them a call and let them know that children and extra's are not included in the wedding. Your guests should understand and realize that all adult weddings can be uncomfortable for children and adding +1's who are strangers, can add costs across the board.
Response cards are also a good way to indicate and remind who is invited. I like to use person(s) to indicate that singles have been invited, and it is a reminder to invitee's to include 1 in their response number if they have received an invitation only addressed to them.
___ person(s) will attend ___ decline with regret
Obviously, there are different traditions and expectations for everyone around the country. It is best to do what you are comfortable with doing. Etiquette can be very overwhelming - especially for weddings. Use these rules and guidelines to make your own decisions. Often, you will end up making the right decision for you and your event.
A: Including an inner envelope is the best way to let guests know who is invited to your wedding. (more on addressing inner and outer envelopes) Guests lists are the hardest part of planning a wedding. Not inviting children is perfectly acceptable, but can be a touchy subject. Use the outer envelope to address the invitation and the inner envelope to let the household know who is invited. For example, your outer envelope would be addressed like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Smith
1234 Walla Walla Lane
Shady Lane, Wisconsin 12345
1234 Walla Walla Lane
Shady Lane, Wisconsin 12345
Greg and Sally have two young children, Jake and Melissa. If you are not including children in your guest list, then your internal would be like this:
Greg and Sally
The omission of the names of their children is the indication that only Greg and Sally are invited.
The same goes for your "and Guest". Allowing unmarried guests to bring a significant other is great, especially if they don't know anyone else at the wedding. Although, if you have a lot of unmarried friends, allowing all of them to bring a guest can make your budget skyrocket. If you are concerned about your budget, and want to make sure everyone is included on your big day, it is acceptable to not include "and Guest" on your invitations. This way, you don't have to feel like you are excluding guests, who you are close to and want as a part of your day, just so someone can bring a complete stranger to your wedding. If you have unmarried guests, you can address their outer envelope like this:
Mr. Nate Smith
1234 Walla Walla Lane
Shady Lane, Wisconsin 12345
1234 Walla Walla Lane
Shady Lane, Wisconsin 12345
The inner envelope should include, either "and Guest" or their partner's name, if you know it (and you know they will be together at the wedding!).
Nate and Guest
or
Nate and Susan
or
Nate and Susan
Use your family and wedding party to help spread the word when asked about children or the +1's. If guests respond that they are bringing their children or a date, then it is best to give them a call and let them know that children and extra's are not included in the wedding. Your guests should understand and realize that all adult weddings can be uncomfortable for children and adding +1's who are strangers, can add costs across the board.
Response cards are also a good way to indicate and remind who is invited. I like to use person(s) to indicate that singles have been invited, and it is a reminder to invitee's to include 1 in their response number if they have received an invitation only addressed to them.
___ person(s) will attend ___ decline with regret
Obviously, there are different traditions and expectations for everyone around the country. It is best to do what you are comfortable with doing. Etiquette can be very overwhelming - especially for weddings. Use these rules and guidelines to make your own decisions. Often, you will end up making the right decision for you and your event.
March 9, 2010
Q & A. Hand Addressed Invitations
Q: Being from the South, anything less than a hand addressed invitation is frowned upon. Is it necessary to have our invitations hand addressed?
A: Well, I am from the South too, and personally, I don't think it is absolutely necessary. GASP! Now, there is something to be said about a beautifully addressed envelope. Professional calligraphy is personable and very formal. It can cost anywhere from $1.00-1.50 for inner and outer envelopes. Your investment for professional calligraphy can be $2.50+ per envelope .
If you don't have the budget or the time to have a professional calligrapher address your invitations, then addressing yourself or running through the printer is perfectly acceptable.
An option that is becoming very popular to the modern bride are label wraps.
It's not for everyone, but it does add a level of design to your invitations. Just think of label wraps as a envelope decoration. This by no means allows you to use labels like you see on bulk mailings. It is extremely impersonal. It takes a little extra time, but addressing by hand, by printer or by wrap can be a personable and stylist way to send word of your special day.
A: Well, I am from the South too, and personally, I don't think it is absolutely necessary. GASP! Now, there is something to be said about a beautifully addressed envelope. Professional calligraphy is personable and very formal. It can cost anywhere from $1.00-1.50 for inner and outer envelopes. Your investment for professional calligraphy can be $2.50+ per envelope .
If you don't have the budget or the time to have a professional calligrapher address your invitations, then addressing yourself or running through the printer is perfectly acceptable.
An option that is becoming very popular to the modern bride are label wraps.
It's not for everyone, but it does add a level of design to your invitations. Just think of label wraps as a envelope decoration. This by no means allows you to use labels like you see on bulk mailings. It is extremely impersonal. It takes a little extra time, but addressing by hand, by printer or by wrap can be a personable and stylist way to send word of your special day.
March 7, 2010
Q & A. The Demise of the RSVP
Q: Why are RSVP's so important? Should I include a response card?
A: RSVP's are very important when planning a wedding. I can't stress that enough! Guests are more and more choosing not to respond when they receive invitations. Unfortunately, it sends a bad message to the host, and puts hosts in an awkward situation as they find themselves wondering or calling recipients to find out if they will attend the wedding.
Reasons you should consider a response card:
Email Response
It is acceptable to use an email address or website for guests to respond for their attendance. But, if you have a large number of guests who do not have access to computers or know how to use email, including a prepaid and pre-addressed response card is smart.
Numbering response cards
Some bride's find it helpful to lightly and discretely number their response cards. The number corresponds to the line the name is on the excel spreadsheet. So, as responses come in, you know exactly who you have not heard from.
A: RSVP's are very important when planning a wedding. I can't stress that enough! Guests are more and more choosing not to respond when they receive invitations. Unfortunately, it sends a bad message to the host, and puts hosts in an awkward situation as they find themselves wondering or calling recipients to find out if they will attend the wedding.
Reasons you should consider a response card:
- Your caterer usually needs a head count 7-10 days prior to the event. You could be charged extra and even over your per-head cost if last minute guests attend.
- If more people attend than you thought, some guests could be left standing or without food. You want them to enjoy your wedding.
- If your budget calls for 100 guests, and 120 show up (at $100 a head), it's quite a surprise for whoever is cutting the check!
- Both the host and the invited can feel quite awkward when asked if attending the event.
Email Response
It is acceptable to use an email address or website for guests to respond for their attendance. But, if you have a large number of guests who do not have access to computers or know how to use email, including a prepaid and pre-addressed response card is smart.
Numbering response cards
Some bride's find it helpful to lightly and discretely number their response cards. The number corresponds to the line the name is on the excel spreadsheet. So, as responses come in, you know exactly who you have not heard from.
March 3, 2010
Q & A: Invitation Timing
Q: How soon do I need to send out my invitations?
A: Mailing your invitations 6-8 weeks in advance gives your guests enough time to plan and respond for your wedding. If you send it too early, people may forget. If it is sent too late, guests may already have plans. 6-8 weeks gives your guests plenty of notice and gives you plenty of time to gather your numbers for caterers and other vendors. Your RSVP deadline should be a week or two out from your catering deadline. In order to ensure you have all of your responses, you may need to follow up with some guests.
Destination weddings require more notice, especially if the destination is hundreds of miles away from the majority of your guests. A Save the Date should be sent with as much information as possible 6 months in advance to guests. Guests have plenty of time to make reservations at discounted rates, take time off work or from school even before they receive an official invitation. Official invitations for destination weddings can be mailed at the traditional time of 6-8 weeks, as long as your Save the Dates go out with plenty of notice.
A: Mailing your invitations 6-8 weeks in advance gives your guests enough time to plan and respond for your wedding. If you send it too early, people may forget. If it is sent too late, guests may already have plans. 6-8 weeks gives your guests plenty of notice and gives you plenty of time to gather your numbers for caterers and other vendors. Your RSVP deadline should be a week or two out from your catering deadline. In order to ensure you have all of your responses, you may need to follow up with some guests.
Destination weddings require more notice, especially if the destination is hundreds of miles away from the majority of your guests. A Save the Date should be sent with as much information as possible 6 months in advance to guests. Guests have plenty of time to make reservations at discounted rates, take time off work or from school even before they receive an official invitation. Official invitations for destination weddings can be mailed at the traditional time of 6-8 weeks, as long as your Save the Dates go out with plenty of notice.
March 1, 2010
Q&A: Invitation Addressing
Q: What is the formal way to address wedding invitations?
A: Wedding invitations traditionally consist of an inner and an outer envelop to dictate who is invited to a wedding and/or reception. The outer envelope is used for the postal service to get it there, the inner to show who is invited. Now, where in the world did this little tradition come from?
Long ago, wedding invitation recipients would have been greeted at home by the brides and their assistants, who went door to door delivering their invitations. Many times, servants would answer the door, accept the invitation, remove the outer envelop and hand only the inner envelop to the invited guest. My favorite example of this is from the movie Ever After (modern take on the Cinderella Story), with Drew Barrymore i.e. Danielle/Cinderella. I have a weakness for movies like this! The horsemen ride up, inviting everyone in the household to the royal wedding, leaving poor, sweet Danielle out.
The outer envelope is, more often than not, addressed formally with the formal name and address:
Outer:
Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Neal Smith
1234 Walla Lane
Walla Walla, Wisconsin 13456
Inner (formal): Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Inner (personal): Greg and Sally
All spelled out. No abbreviations. This is an example of a married couple with the same last name. Obviously, not everyone is married, so other formats can apply...
click to view me full size!
Some additional items:
Making sure you have the correct address is a priority. Don't guess or look in the white pages. If your invitation is returned because of the wrong address, you have 1) wasted (that ever so expensive) postage and 2) are giving guests late notice of your date.
Avoid abbreviations, nick names, and initials. It is ok to ask for full formal names. At this time in our lives with Facebook, how many of us have received a facebook message asking for address and spouse names?
A: Wedding invitations traditionally consist of an inner and an outer envelop to dictate who is invited to a wedding and/or reception. The outer envelope is used for the postal service to get it there, the inner to show who is invited. Now, where in the world did this little tradition come from?
Long ago, wedding invitation recipients would have been greeted at home by the brides and their assistants, who went door to door delivering their invitations. Many times, servants would answer the door, accept the invitation, remove the outer envelop and hand only the inner envelop to the invited guest. My favorite example of this is from the movie Ever After (modern take on the Cinderella Story), with Drew Barrymore i.e. Danielle/Cinderella. I have a weakness for movies like this! The horsemen ride up, inviting everyone in the household to the royal wedding, leaving poor, sweet Danielle out.
The outer envelope is, more often than not, addressed formally with the formal name and address:
Outer:
Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Neal Smith
1234 Walla Lane
Walla Walla, Wisconsin 13456
Inner (formal): Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Inner (personal): Greg and Sally
All spelled out. No abbreviations. This is an example of a married couple with the same last name. Obviously, not everyone is married, so other formats can apply...
click to view me full size!Some additional items:
Making sure you have the correct address is a priority. Don't guess or look in the white pages. If your invitation is returned because of the wrong address, you have 1) wasted (that ever so expensive) postage and 2) are giving guests late notice of your date.
Avoid abbreviations, nick names, and initials. It is ok to ask for full formal names. At this time in our lives with Facebook, how many of us have received a facebook message asking for address and spouse names?
February 25, 2010
Q & A: Invitation and RSVP Etiquette.
I've had a few questions lately regarding invitation etiquette. It seems that everyone is confused or has a different idea of what is appropriate. Nothing is right or wrong, but there are some definite no-no's...for the sender and the receiver. So, I'm starting a series of Q&A's for this very topic. Over the next week or so, I will address the following:
- Invitation Addressing
- By Hand or By Printer or By Label (gasp!)
- Invitation Timing
- The Demise of the RSVP
- Email Invitations
- Registry Information
- All Adult Wedding
- Wedding Gifts
- Thank You Notes
- Pre-Wedding Festivities
January 24, 2010
Q & A. Rehearsal Dinner Speeches
Q: Who is supposed to give toasts at the rehearsal dinner? And what about the reception?
A: It really is who ever the bride and groom wants to give a toast, but the best rule of thumb is that the first toast is always given by the person who is hosting the event.
Rehearsal Dinner: The Groom's father, who is usually the host, stands up first. Then the best man and the maid of honor. Sometimes, each of the bridesmaids and groomsmen are asked to say something that night as well, or they present together. This is where opening the floor up to everyone can get out of hand, so make sure to communicate that to everyone.
Reception: The Bride's father, who is usually the host, gives the first toast. After that, it depends on if the MOH and BM want to give a toast. In my opinion (although it's up to the B&G) you keep these short and sweet with the fewer people the better, because guests want to get back to the reception.
Talk to each member of the wedding party first and give them the guidelines of who will be speaking. It's best to communicate that so you don't have what is thought of as an open floor for people to go on and on with speeches.
A: It really is who ever the bride and groom wants to give a toast, but the best rule of thumb is that the first toast is always given by the person who is hosting the event.
Rehearsal Dinner: The Groom's father, who is usually the host, stands up first. Then the best man and the maid of honor. Sometimes, each of the bridesmaids and groomsmen are asked to say something that night as well, or they present together. This is where opening the floor up to everyone can get out of hand, so make sure to communicate that to everyone.
Reception: The Bride's father, who is usually the host, gives the first toast. After that, it depends on if the MOH and BM want to give a toast. In my opinion (although it's up to the B&G) you keep these short and sweet with the fewer people the better, because guests want to get back to the reception.
Talk to each member of the wedding party first and give them the guidelines of who will be speaking. It's best to communicate that so you don't have what is thought of as an open floor for people to go on and on with speeches.
December 16, 2009
Q. & A. ::: Are Wreaths Year-Round Decor?
Q: Got a decor question for you. Are wreaths year round?? I would love to make a wreath like you did with the "F" on it, but I have blown my Christmas decor budget and need to wait until after Christmas to make one. But, I don't if they are year round and what colors to use?! Help please.
A: Yes, I think so. I keep my red one up until Valentine's Day. Then switch to yellow for Spring and Summer, (briefly taking it down so the finches don't make a nest in it), orange for fall and back to red for the holiday's. I would suggest a grapevine wreath - very inexpensive and lasts forever + goes with every season. Each season, you can repaint your C and add picks of berries or flowers to go with the season. That way, you have one wreath to buy with many options! Michael's has a lot of Christmas stuff 60% off right now and often sends out a 40% off coupon. Go through your Christmas decorations that you aren't using or pull some stuff off of your tree and wallah! I got my "F", which is metal, from Kathy's of McMinnville at Christmas Village and painted it myself.
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